You are here: Home / Archives for Child

Raising a teenager

June 1, 2011 By
Two adolescent couples at the 2009 Western Ida... 

Image via Wikipedia

Raising a teenager can be a daunting task. Most teenagers will tell you that they know everything there is to know about life. However, it is your job to help them realize otherwise. Teenagers need to continue to be guided by their parents whether they like it or not. Here are a few tips to help you along the way.

First and foremost, listen to your teenager. Listening and paying attention to your teenage gives them someone to talk to when they have questions. Just think, if you are listening to them and giving them advice, who is?

Be their parent, not their friend. Some parents want to be their teenagers best friend. This can create problems by allowing the teenager to not listen to their parent. Your child needs to be given clear responsibilities and disciplined. If you are acting like their best friend, then you will have a very rebellious teenager.

Be firm with your teenager, but not overbearing. Give your child rules to follow and consequences for not following the rules. Make sure their are clear cut guidelines and not just rules that you make up as you go. Children want the feeling of protection and comfort from their parents and a routine and rules to follow will help them later in life as well as help you control your teen now.

With different parenting styles out there, there is no right or wrong way to be a parent. Just make sure that you raise the best child that you can with the circumstances that are given to you.


Filed Under: Pressures & Privileges Tagged With: , ,

Helping Your Child Learn to Drive: Getting the Mindset Right

December 27, 2010 By

The right mindset goes a long way when you are helping your teenager learn to drive. This can be a stressful experience for both parent and child alike, going in to it prepared and ready for anything will help you both to stay calm during the learning process. When you’re able to relax and enjoy the ride, it can be a great experience for you both.

Relax
Tensing up in the passenger seat will only make your child nervous or upset. Have a relaxed attitude and remember, your child is ready for this. Show them that you have confidence in their abilities and you will often be pleasantly surprised. Show them you are afraid to get in the car with them, and you may have a fight on your hands. Even jokes about fear can be interpreted badly by your teenager when he or she may already be full of nerves.

Eliminate Distractions
Turn off the radio while you’re learning. While your driver should have their phone away, it is also important for you as the parent and teacher to eliminate distractions. Put down the phone and put away the to-do list, this should be time to focus entirely on your teenager and on helping them become the best driver possible. Your teenager will be more confident when they know you are watching and ready to help.

Stay Calm
Even as you need to correct your new driver’s mistakes and remind them of things they forget, it is important to be respectful and speak calmly. Never laugh at a question or act as though it is something that everyone should know. For many young drivers, everything is new and everything is a question. Encourage their eagerness to learn and remember, it’s okay if the windshield wipers come on with the turn signal the first few times, your teenager has a lot of practice hours to learn and get it all right.

Filed Under: Pressures & Privileges Tagged With: , ,

Building a Relationship with your Young Adult

December 10, 2010 By

Helping your child move from childhood to adulthood can be a challenging process. It can also be one of the most rewarding times in your relationship. Learning to relate to your child as an adult can be a long process, but the resulting relationship will be well worth it.

Be Open to Change
Your child may have wanted to be a teacher since age six, but once college hits, these things can always change. Maybe your child has just discovered a love of anthropology and now wants to work in a museum. The best thing a parent can do for their young adult is to be supportive through changes of plans. Young adults still have a lot to discover and are entitled to change their minds a few times along the way. The same goes for relationships, breakups, and long-time friends who may fall in and out of each others’ lives. Your best call is to never question or pry, simply ask good questions and offer your support.

Learn to Relate as Adults
You can share home improvement stories and nightmares with your new homeowner, recipes and kitchen disasters with your budding chef, and begin to relate to your child in a new way as they explore life on their own. When you keep communication open, this can be a fun and interesting time. It’s time for you to be there to answer questions if they ask, but be open to learning things from your child too.

Enjoy Changing Dynamics
Don’t get bogged down by the relationships that you had with your children as teenagers or the roles that each child fell into when they all lived at home. As children leave home and grow up, things will change, and while it’s tempting to expect the same old dynamics to continue, they rarely do. Give them space to grow and you’ll open up an entire world of new dynamics within your same old family.

Filed Under: Trends Tagged With: , , ,

Setting Guidelines for Your Teenagers’ Rooms

December 1, 2010 By

Room rules can be a challenge for even the best of parent-child relationships. Chances are that from an early age, your child was expected to follow guidelines about keeping their bedroom clean and tidy. As children grow up, rules about their rooms will need to be clear and boundaries set upfront so that no one can get upset by changes in the rules. Teenagers need guidelines and feeling that they have a clear sense of the rules will be important to keeping their respect and ensuring they know what is expected in the home.

Cleanliness
Continue to set rules about cleaning their rooms as teenagers grow up. By now, you probably have a good idea about what you can expect and for some teenagers, this won’t be a problem. Others will need a set schedule, reminders, and occasional hounding to keep a room clean. Be direct and forceful, but resist constant nagging that may push them to rebel against these basic rules. Learning to take care of their space is an important skill that your teenager will need in the future.

Entertaining Guests
Teenagers need to know the rules of the house when it comes to having friends in their room. Are they allowed complete privacy or should the door be kept open at all times? Does this depend on the time of day? Are both members of the same sex and the opposite sex permitted in the room? Setting some ground rules will prevent misunderstandings later on. Having the conversation can seem formal, but it is key to keeping everyone on the same page.

During College
When your teenager leaves home for college, it is time to have another room conversation. Does the teenager expect to come home to their room untouched or can it be made into a guest room or office? Finding out your child’s thoughts and sharing your plans will prevent upset during that first visit home.

Filed Under: Pressures & Privileges Tagged With: , , ,